I grew up as a people-pleaser. Everything I did was so that other people will be happy. I ended up being an over-achiever with a myriad of medals and trophies and certificates and awards that were displayed all around the house. 

Being in school was easy. Just please your teachers by getting good scores. Get through the stressful group projects by pleasing your group mates. Get through every single day just waiting for the year or semester to be over. Then I graduated and reality hit hard.

Pleasing people just wasn't enough anymore. It got me through the first few years, but it came to the point when I had no idea how to please them anymore. There was even a time when I sacrificed my health and happiness to end up getting all my mistakes pointed out. I lived with so much fear of disappointing other people, and when my fears became my reality, I threw myself into a wave of depression that I thought I wouldn't get out of. 

In the end, I learned that it wasn't worth it. I had to think of myself. I had to love myself. I had to be happy. When I decided to finally break free, a lot of people weren't pleased. I almost fell back into the darkness of pleasing them at the cost of my own happiness. Almost. Then I decided. 

I decided that I didn't care about their opinions and judgments towards me. I didn't care about their thoughts about how I dress, or whether I wear make-up or not, or how I style my hair. I let go of all their unrealistic and boring expectations of what kind of person I should be. 

I decided that only God can judge me, and I will live according to His word and commandments. I'm happy, and because of that, I can make others happy too. And this is probably the highest level of freedom that any person can get. 

I never said it was easy. Breaking free and finally being yourself in a world where they want to control what and who you should be was the hardest journey I had to go through. It was stormy and rocky and I lost a lot of people I depended on. It made me stronger, and it made me realize who really cared for me and who were just in it for what they can get from me. It wasn't easy but it was worth it. 

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